Expendable DA Teachers SCRIPT

[Albus Dumbledore sits at his desk, he looks to his right at  Quirrell]

Dumbledore: Professor Quirrell, it’s Harry’s first year at Hogwarts and I need you to teach Defense against the dark arts.

[Dumbledore turns to the left and looks at Lockhart]

Dumbledore: Professor Lockhart, it seems Quirrell was working for Lord Voldemort and carrying him on the back of his head. So I need you to teach Defense against the dark arts for Harry’s second year.

[Dumbledore turns to the right and looks at Lupin]

Dumbledore: Professor Lupin, it turns out Lockhard was a frad, and on top of that got his mind wiped, so I want you to teach DADA during Harry’s Third year.

[Dumbledore turns to the Left and looks at Snape]

Dumbledore: Professor Snape it seems that Professor Lupin as come quite ill…

Snape: Exhalent.

Dumbledore:  So I need you to teach his classes till…

[Off Camera] Lupin: Actually sir I’m quite better now.

[Dumbledore turns to the right and looks at Lupin]

Dumbledore:  hmmm… that you are… very well never mind…

[Off Camera] Snape: Blast.

[Dumbledore turns to the Left and looks at Moody]

Dumbledore: Professor Moody, I’m afraid I was forced to fire Lupin because Snape let lose he was a werewolf. So I need you to teach  DADA and help with the Triwizerd tournament and keep an eye on Harry during his Fourth year.

[Off Camera] Fudge: Dumbledore!

[Dumbledore turns to the right and looks at Fundge and Umbridge]

Fudge: It seems Moody was really Barty Crouch Jr.

Dumbledore:  Yes he was working for Vo…

Umbridge: HE'S NOT DONE TALKING!

[long silence]

Fudge: Yes… well… anyway… I’m assigning Professor Umbridge to DADA to bring down you secret army and get Harry expelled by the end of his Fifth year.

Umbridge: oh thank you sir… your so wise sir… and quite hansom.  

[Dumbledore turns to the Left and looks at Snape… again]

Dumbledore: Professor Snape. It seems Umbridge had a rather terrible accident.

[Off Camera] Umbridge: Say what now

[Off Camera] Unknown creature: [Roars]

[Off Camera] Umbridge: [Screams until it stops suddenly and quite bloody]

Dumbledore: So I need you to teach DADA during Harry’s Sixth year.

Snape: You can trust me sir.

[Snape turns to HIS left and looks at Carrow]

Snape: Carrow, since I have killed Dumbledore. I will take his position, I…

[Off Camera] Dumbledore: But you didn’t kill me.

[Snape turns back to his right and looks at Dumbledore, then raises his wand]

Snape: Avada kedavra!

[Snapes fires a green bolt at Dumbledore then turns back to Carrow]

Snape: As I was saying. As the New Headmaster I give you the title of Dark Arts teacher.

[Snape turns to his right and looks at Mundungus Fletcher]

Snape: Ah Mundungus Fletcher good. I have just aided Harry Potter in bring down the dark lord, so I’m giving you DADA as a test to see if that jinx has been lifted yet.

Fletcher: Oh good… wait why Me?

Snape: well if you were to die it would be no big loss.

Fletcher: Oh you got to be kidding me… wait when did Harry bring down Voldemort?

[The camera backs up to reveal Voldemort standing behind Snape]

Voldemort: That’s what I would like to know.

[Snape turns around and sees Voldemort]

Snape: Crap…

[Voldemort raises his wand and fires a green blast at Snape who gets blown away. Fletcher steps closer to Voldemort]

Fletcher: So… Do I still get the job?

[Voldemort looks at Fletcher, then blasts him]

[End]